20s is the most important period of time to discover and find your life’s purpose. During our 20s we tend to think that our life is unlimited and we will be forever young. But this is the exact time when we need to use our time efficiently and make wise decisions considering our future goals, expectations and purpose.
Although, most people that I talk to, have not figured yet what they want, including me. I don’t know why it happens: maybe we don’t see how much potential we have, or maybe we are scared to go outside of our bubble and explore things beyond our angle of observation.
Unfortunately, even after we finish school and get a degree, we are still clueless about what we want. Between ages 18 and 22, I’ve changed career options and aspirations more often than I changed my hair color. I went from English linguistics to Psychology, then to Political science, and somehow ending up in Media Studies. But still I don’t feel convinced by my decision.
Through out my life, I’ve heard a lot of grown ups saying, “If I could go back, I would have done things differently.” I don’t want to be that person, and I understand how crucial it is to dive into the journey of discovery right now and right here, and decide what I want to do with my life and what really makes me happy.
So here are few steps that can help you lead to your life’s purpose:
1. Start somewhere. This is the first baby step outside of your bubble, where you can do your research and look for anything the world can offer you. There are tons of internships, volunteering options, non-profit organizations. If you are still in college, there are a lot of different clubs, starting from dancing and ending with the United Nations Student Association club. There are plenty of opportunities, especially if you live in NYC.
- Don’t be afraid to fail. Yes, you’re going to fail a thousands of times before reaching your purpose. Indeed, if you want everything to come easy in your life, you might settle for whatever life offers you. But is that what you really want? On the other hand, when someone offers you an opportunity that scares you at first, be honest with yourself. If it scares you because you might need to work a lot, or because you might fail - don’t quit. You must work your ass off before you see the results. Just think about it as going to the gym: you will never see your body changing, unless you are going to sweat like crazy and be sore the next day. You are going to be in a lot of pain, and you will embarrass yourself a lot. Whenever I fail, screw up or embarrass myself, I try to remember Paulo Coelho’s quote: “If you only walk on sunny days, you’ll never reach your destination.” Try to find the quote that motivates and inspires you to move on no matter what, and use it as your mantra.
- Try to remember what you wanted to do when you were a child. We are more in touch with our hearts and ourselves when we are younger. Then adolescence and adulthood comes with new problems and pressures, and we tend to lose our passions. For some reason, during our most crucial years we are being taught that we must only do something, if get well rewarded after. I was always scared to major in Media Studies with concentration in Journalism, because “English is my third language, I’ll never have the same chance compared to a native speaker”, “Journalism is dying”, or “I’ll never have enough money.” If you have those thoughts, screw them. Just do whatever makes you happy.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Our comfort zone is the biggest enemy we are faced with while reaching our goals. We get into our routines. We stop exploring and discovering. We go to the same places, we talk to same people, we go to the same gym, we go ski to the same mountain, we spend the Memorial Day weekend the same way we did last 5 years. Our bubble is so comfortable, but nothing good ever happens inside of it. What would you do if all those things disappeared? What if, hypothetically, there would be no TV, video games, Facebook and Netflix anymore? What would you do and where would you go? What would you do with all of that time? Try to imagine it, and decide what would you do if it happened.
- “Before I die, I want to…” Imagine you are going to die in a year from now. What would you do that last year? How would it looked like? Death scares us, and we try not to think about it. But imagining that you are going to die in a year might bring some clarity to you. In 2011, after losing someone she loved, Candy Chang created the first “Before I die” wall on the abandoned house in New Orleans. She painted the side of the house with chalkboard paint and wrote a sentence: “Before I die, I want to _____.” Anyone walking by could pick up a piece of chalk and share their personal aspirations with others in the public space. The project gained a global attention, and now “Before I Die” walls are created all around the world. You might not find that wall next to you, but you can always write “Before I die” on the piece of paper, and write down at least 3 personal aspirations and goals you want to achieve before the death.
We were all created for something bigger, and we can always get ourselves further in our lives than we think. Your 20s are the most important time to explore and find your life’s purpose.
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